The manosphere, 80/20, Beckys, Stacys, Chads — there’s a lot of terminology involved in red-pill content, but it boils down to this: It’s an online world of misogynistic influencers promoting hypermasculinity to young boys and degrading women in just about every way you can think of.
It’s not the way you’re raising your son, and it can feel like if he gets drawn into that side of the internet at all, you’ll never get him back. Or, maybe he’s already come to you about some shady content his friends sent him, and you’re wondering what to do. So, can you de-pill your kid? Or once they swallow the red pill (eye roll), is that just… it?
Why are some teens drawn to red-pill content?
In a way, it’s developmentally normal, according to licensed therapist Krista Walker, LCSW. We all have our struggles in adolescence, and manosphere ideologies offers some reasoning — however misguided — for why some things happen. “Teens are searching for a sense of identity. This content provides that. It also provides an outlet for frustration and gives them the space to place blame.”
Social media platforms also amplify content that gets the most engagement, as videos with strong opinions often do, Walker points out. So, red-pill content may find its way into your kid’s algorithm on its own without them necessarily seeking it out.
"Childhood is a critical stage of development, during which children are highly impressionable and particularly vulnerable to extreme views. The internet is a hotbed for extremism and misinformation, and early research around the impact of the ‘manosphere’ on children is incredibly alarming,” says child, adolescent, and family psychotherapist Fiona Yassin, founder and clinical director of The Wave Clinic.
One review of such research published by The Associated for Child and Adolescent Mental Health concluded that teens’ engagement with manosphere content online is driving an increase in sexist behavior toward women and girls — therefore driving down their mental health — and serving as a gateway to even more extreme ideologies. So, yeah… that’s terrifying. What the hell are you supposed to do if you catch your kid watching Andrew Tate videos?
What should you do if your kid seems to believe red-pill ideologies?
If you’re like me, you’re going to want to launch on your child and tell them all the ways this content is bone-headed and backwards. That is not the move, according to Walker and Yassin. Instead, Walker suggests trying to connect with them in an open, nonjudgmental conversation.
“Don’t shame or attack your teen’s beliefs. This will just push them away. Ask questions. Ask them how this content makes them feel about themselves and others, as well. Avoid heated debates. Determine if your teen is struggling with low self-esteem, depression, loneliness, or social problems. There could be something going on underneath, and that contributes to them connecting with this type of content,” Walker says. You could even watch some of the content with them, and ask them to put themselves in the shoes of the women being talked about this way.
Connect the content to real people your child knows, Yassin says. If a creator claims women are less intelligent than men, point to a relative or family friend who is leading the way in an intense field. Or, ask how your teen would feel if his loved ones were being treated the way red-pill content creators treat them. Just try to keep it all open-ended and inquisitive — and start pointing out misogyny when you see it elsewhere in media too.
“Many video games and movies aimed at young audiences portray women in hyper-sexualized ways, reinforcing objectification. Be inquisitive about your child’s view of these women,” suggests Yassin. “You could ask, ‘What do you think about how the women were described in that movie?’ or ‘How are female characters represented in your video games. What do you think of this?’ This conversation encourages critical thinking and helps children to develop awareness of harmful media representation.”
Walker also says therapy might be appropriate, especially if your teen is dealing with underlying issues, like loneliness, that are contributing to them identifying with misogynistic creators. If possible, find someone who is trained to work with teens and is familiar with the manosphere.
Start talking about equality and inclusivity early.
The best thing you can do for your children is start talking about misogyny and gender long before red-pill content ever comes into play.
“Although they may be difficult, conversations about misogyny and the treatment of women are incredibly important, whether or not you believe your child is exhibiting these behaviors or consuming harmful content online. It’s an essential topic of discussion for all children,” Yassin says. “By creating an open, educational, and safe space for these discussions, parents can help their children develop respectful and informed perspectives on gender roles and relationships. Challenging harmful narratives early on fosters a healthier, more inclusive mindset for future generations.”
That also means modeling inclusivity yourself, always. “Parents should model inclusivity in all their interactions, avoiding gendered jokes and stereotypes within the family. Sibling interactions, ‘jokes’ from fathers or grandfathers, and other casual remarks can reinforce harmful biases if left unaddressed,” Yassin says.
Disclaimer: This story has not been edited by us and is published as shown on Scary Mommy.
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