When my son was little, his favorite color was pink. Anything he picked — from balloons to cupcakes — was always going to be pink. His jacket was pink. His shoes were pink. For a long time, none of his peers thought much of it. Every now and then someone would ask “Why do you have pink shoes?” and he’d reply, “Pink is my favorite color.”
Once, when he was 4, someone told him pink was a “girl color” and he quickly replied. “Whoa. That’s your problem.” (I was so proud.)
When faced with a similar issue one TikTok user explained his situation and offered another solution and, TBH, I don’t hate it.
“My 7-year-old used to love this pink sweater that he has that I bought him because I had a pink sweater and he wanted to match,” the poster explains in a now-deleted video. “He suddenly stopped wearing it to school and the other day I tried to get him to wear it and he refused to wear it … turns out a kid on the playground told him ‘Boys don’t wear pink; it’s not an acceptable color for him to wear.’”
The OP was very clear that he didn’t think this other little boy was a bully or bullying his child: he just assumed the child was raised to believe that was a true statement. That boys don’t wear pink.
“I personally wasn’t upset about the interaction,” he continued. “What I wanted to do was to develop my son’s confidence. So what I told him to do was, next time … tell the little boy to go f*ck himself.
“I know. It seems pretty extreme,” he admits. “But the goal is for my son to say something to this could that would be like a slap in the face without it actually being a slap in the face. To surprise this boy. To make him see ‘You know, I’m not really responsible for this little kid and he can do whatever the f*ck he wants.’”
He realizes that this might escalate the situation — either to a teacher or to the other boy’s parent. Good, says the OP. Hopefully, that can create a discussion
“I’m not here to raise your kid; I’m here to raise my kid. And I want my kid to feel the confidence to tell other kids … ‘My life isn’t your life. You don’t get to dictate what I do or what I say.’”
And ultimately, he decides, is a naughty word at the same level as trying to dictate what other people are doing? Trying to shame them out of liking the things they like to make you more comfortable with your own beliefs?
“I think that’s a much more negative thing in life than cussing,” he concludes.
Research published in the British Journal of Developmental Psychology suggests that there’s nothing inherent about boys’ dislike of the color pink. Rather they begin avoiding it around age 2.5 and between 3 and 4 (which just so happens to be around the time they’re probably going to preschool and running into other people’s expectations of what they should and shouldn’t like) really start to express disdain for all things pink.
So it stands to reason that if they’re learning to hate it or feel ashamed to be associated with it, they can also learn not to be ashamed if they happen to like pink. And maybe a well-placed “f*ck off” to people who tell them otherwise is just the thing…
Disclaimer: This story has not been edited by us and is published as shown on Scary Mommy.
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