If you suddenly learned that your parents hated the name they bestowed upon you, would you change it to appease them? One teenage son wonders if he’s in the wrong after refusing to change his birth name due to his parents’ regret. Now, he’s turning to the ever-entertaining “Am I The A**hole?” subreddit thread for some outside opinions.
“I’m (16m) my parent’s youngest kid and the only kid the name based on what they liked vs what the family wanted them to name us,” he begins before explaining that all his siblings were named after family members.
“By the time they got around to having me they were live f**k this s**t and told their family they were choosing a name based on what they liked and not based on family. So they named me Sunny. Yeah, the ‘girl version’ of Sonny. I don’t care. I don’t think Sunny is girly because it has a u vs an o …”
Around the time the OP turned ten, he started to feel like his parents weren’t too keen on his name, saying that his parents even started referring to him by his middle name. He expressed to them that, despite their weirdness, he liked his name and didn’t even want to go by a nickname.
“Last year they said some kids change their names before graduating high school because they want something more grown up and they want to save the added expense of changing the name on their degree. I was like oh, I guess if people want that it makes sense. Then I said it must suck to hate your name,” he wrote before noting that, despite voicing multiple times that he liked his name, his parents began giving him alternative names.
“Six months ago my parents said I look like a James nicknamed Jamie. I asked them why they thought that and they said I just had that look. They asked what I thought of the name and I said I like Jamie but prefer Sunny. Then they asked if I liked the name Luke and I said no.”
“In June they asked me if I would consider letting them change my name to something different. They said they feel like they named me as a big f**k you to their families but felt bad that I had such an unserious name for a man,” he wrote.
“I told them I didn’t want to change my name and I always loved the way they talked about finding my name. They said their feelings had changed and they felt like the name being cute and light and full of hope wasn’t great for going into my adult years. They said they deeply regretted it. I told them I was glad they made the choice they did and they shouldn’t stress it.”
Even though he set clear boundaries, stating multiple times that he did not want to change his name, his parents came home with paperwork for a legal name change, offered up three names, and said he should take his pick.
“I told them I’m not changing my name because of their name regret. I told them how I feel about my name is more important now. They told me I should at least think of their feelings and that I should consider the future and whether I’ll be taken seriously. AITA?” he asked.
Several Reddit users agreed with this sentiment, also remarking that his parents were totally and completely out of line.
“I mean, this is just sad: ‘being cute and light and full of hope wasn’t great for going into my adult years.’ OP, please go forth into your adult years being cute and light and full of hope,” one user wrote.
“Honestly your parents sound a bit unhinged. Sadly at 16 they can legally change your name without consent in the US (at least in the majority of states). The upside is that you will be able to legally change it back when you turn 18,” another wrote.
“Make it clear to your parents that if they were to do that there would be serious long term consequences for your relationship and that you will NEVER answer to or acknowledge that name under any circumstances and will have your name changed back the day you turn 18.”
“NTA but your parents appear to be struggling with some major mental health issues. Maybe talk to one of the counsellors at your school about what’s going on at home.”
Another echoed, “NTA. it sounds like your parents are more concerned about their feelings regarding your name than your feelings. that name is yours, you’re your own person, and if you don’t want to change your name because you like it, then don’t. those are their feelings to live with, and putting them on you as a child is unfair and weird. i also have a weather name and i still love it, and i’m almost thirty. more power to you!”
Okay, first of all, Sunny is the coolest and most fun name ever! Second, no one is going to look at a resume or have Sunny in for an interview and turn him away because of his name. Let’s be real!
Disclaimer: This story has not been edited by us and is published as shown on Scary Mommy.
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